i have to just let it go. i have been repeatedly went through the cycle again and again that sometimes , i felt so damn stupid for letting in this feeling and letting it controls over my whole mind. i have been dying to continuously finding and hoping that i will find mine soon that now, i felt so damn tired of wanting too hard.
I am really going to forget about the heartache that is causing so much pain in my life right now. i know i dont deserved to go through this and wish for a better future with someone who dont get tired of chasing me and not the otherwise.
the past 4 years hasnt been good on my side. you've got someone and im still stuck on a loosing end. sometimes, i really wonder how can i even hold on to this feeling for this long. Ure one lucky guy...And it is such a shame that i know i can find better but i just dont want to.i am just hoping to bump into a very nice guy whom will give me shivers and make me tremble by his presence like i always do whenever you're near me.
god totally answered my prayers and to only him i seek guidance and patience. from today onwards, i will open up myself. yes i will!
now that i felt so damn good to just let it off my chest, i am the happy girl like i have always been.YAY.because now, i dont really give a fug even if you dont reply me. You would'nt know how happy i am knowing that i am a threat in someone's life.still feeling insecure. yes? no? haha!!
life has been pretty much ups and down. you should what were the pitfalls that i had to face.The matter of my heart, fyp, UTs, school. ahhhh.. just cant wait to leave rp soon. Anyway, JD assures us that training would be quite light for this month, now that the season is over but the excercises we did in school freaking kills me! i feel like a nineteen year old girl stuck in a 90 year old body everytime training ended. my body ache so badly that i had a hard time taking off my clothes.
cant get to sleep.browsing through my eyecandy's fb profile and i find his friend looks quite good. hmmm. haha. So in 8 hours time, ill be at LSR paddling. if you happened to be in the train passing by the reservouir. wave at me though i wont be able to see. haha.
jangan lupe solat! good night!
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