mad tired.

it’s drawing near to the end of october, and it just hit me how different life’s gonna be come novemeber. It’s not so much the difference between then and now, though. It’s more how different things will turn out, comparing what’s currently in my head and reality. Cos sometimes I feel my head has a mind of it’s own. 

i need a break. wish everything would pause so that i can think calmly of things i have to do without distractions. i cant have so many things happening at once and still, at the end of the day, i have to settle it. i am tired. 

school is now redundant and waste of time. mehh. i am getting bored of it and struggling with pharm chem is the biggest issue i have right now. i hate it when i cant cope well. hate it even more when i am the only one that is lost and all i could do was ust to ask instead of contributing some useful ideas to the team. broke down in class last friday and the worst thing of all was that, i had to think of another issue which worries me too.

i bothered myself with many things that sometimes i feel like i dont even have the time to think for myself. i need a freaking life . i really have to stop worrying so much about other people instead of just me.

but whatever, am ust motivated to come school because there is still good friends around, training and my eye candy!! going to watch the rugby polite match later. super pscyche. hehe.

 polite reminds me so much of the harsh days my 12 girls and i went through like ermm 3 months ago? when we ran around the stadium to clock the timing that susan wanted. the punishment that we got, hundreds of push up, cried together, push hard till we almost explode. but it was all worth it. i want the hunger and aggression to be back like in those days when all we do was just to train and train till our body well up. 

i have like a month more to go... lets make it a good one!

i miss this girls :(

and trust me, this was the best moment of my life.