for you.

If there was only everlasting happiness and not feeling down and no sudden hatred.everyone in this world would be happy. people picture the beautiful things even before it happens, And when things doesn't turned out the way they want it to be, then disappointment comes in.

apart from that, this are just the little things that brought into being disappointed.. there is more to make someone feel that way. for instance, you're expecting something from a person , and when he/she doesn't do it, you'll get mad and then you're disappointed with his/her actions.

i am disappointed when my friend's action doesn't seems to go with what you expected it to be. Is it so nice to be in love that you cant spare a day. i hate clingy girls.you know what, being mad will just tire me out. it is so hard to show my emotions, to show that i am dissapointed and angry, because if i show it, things gonna turn out be real bad. i dont want this to spoil our friendship. so i rather fake up the smile, take a step back, and let you do what you want. cos i cant be bothred anymore. you choose your own happiness and ill try to find mine.

and what i meant by finding my own happiness is definitely not by finding a guy because i lose hope. the spark is slowly fading. i dont really care if i dont see you that often anymore because i am too tired of picturing beautiful things that wont ever happen. it tires me out, really. i just want to be happy but the defination of happy is just too vague that i dont know how to make myself feel that way.

i just googled on how to be happy.. yeah i know, i am that free. one of the point, it says to smile. because science suggests that when you smile, whether you feel happy or not, your mood will be elevated. So smile all the time! but if you're faking a smile on the outside and then inside, you feeling like total shit. then tell me, what is the point of even trying to smile. to show everyone around that you're perfectly fine when you're not. i have to stop pretending already!!

i am really that upset then i dont feel like talking to you.